Facing terminal cancer as I am I cannot help pondering the transitory nature of life. It is ephemeral, fleeting, and too damn short. Over the past few years I have talked about this a number of folks--all of whom tend to glaze over and while agreeing don't really seem to get the full significance of what I am saying. "Wake up dammit. Life is short. How do you really want to spend your time while you are here?"
There is a Tim McGraw country song that is about living your life as if you were dying. What if that was the case? What if we actually did live that way? Why then get out of bed? Why have children? Why go to work? Why save money? Indeed, for our ancestors ... why put your transitory life on the line pitting your hunting skills against a sabre toothed tiger or buffalo ... See what I mean?
If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I don't think I would go to work today. In fact motivation is something I am dealing with for the first time in my life. Think about it; from the point of view of survivability of our species this is a pretty lame strategy. Therefore, I think we are genetically programmed to believe we have plenty of time. When we have plenty of time, we get up go to work, pay or taxes, have children and fight hairy beasts for supper! Now that is a strategy for success!
But here's the thing. Because of the inevitability of my death, I see things differently than most folks. I have no future. I am forced to live in the moment--a great thing when you think about it. A precessional advantage to the process is a state of grace that feels like peace, tranquility, compassion and occasional bouts of bliss! And here's the odd thing. When I start feeling well physically, my mental state shifts and I find myself making plans with a decidedly long-term perspective. Again, it is as if there is a deep program running that is there whenever I stop feeling like death is imminent. Curious isn't it?
Experiencing The Spiritual is a collaborative exploration into the topics of Self-Realization and Spirituality. We discuss our personal experiences, views, and ideas while objectively sharing those of others.
FROM WARD: So what effect might this genetic imperative have on self-realization, meditation and considerations of spiritual matters?
ReplyDeleteFROM JASON:
ReplyDeleteBefore I say anything, I want to share a poem that came to mind... most likely because YOU mentioned this author...
"Death Be Not Proud"
Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill mee.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.
John Donne
And then I ask you... what is the meaning of life?
FROM JASON... again: [and be warned... this is response had to be cut up because of the character limit. Oops! Haha]
ReplyDeleteThat question can be treated rhetorically, or you can share your idea. Whichever. But, what I'm getting at is that our view of death must be contingent on (or at least related to) our view of life. And of course, we all may have different views.
The position you're in, as challenging (that's not the right word... overwhelming, confusing, frightening, painful) as it is, does present a gift, as you mentioned. You have been given no choice but to see life and the world from a different perspective than most of us. And, it sounds like that perspective can be quite nice. The fact that it's elusive, and that your mind goes back to planning for the future in times of health, make sense to me. As far as I am concerned... the mind and the body are devices. Each is an apparatus, or a conduit through which consciousness can experience a physical/dualistic reality. They are ALWAYS on survival mode, and that's great... except now we're living in apartments and houses, driving cars, watching television, and NOT having to hunt and gather or fend off saber-tooth tigers. In this respect, it's like the mind has become too evolved. It's a tool, and some of its functions are just not practical or relevant anymore. But, the last thing the mind would do, like any good machine, is regress or devolve. It will not adapt to our new reality (in which we can conveniently have our groceries or food delivered to our door) unless we force it to. But, unfortunately, we've not only given our power to the mind... but we've identified AS the mind (and all the chatter and memos it puts out at such an incredible and unceasing rate).
(continued)
FROM JASON... again (and again):
ReplyDeleteSo what does this have to do with your question/topic?
The biological or genetic imperative is more or less a scientific/evolutionary fact. We are wired to survive. To your question: "So what effect might this genetic imperative have on self-realization, meditation and considerations of spiritual matters?" (a really great question) I ask:
"Are you biological, or are you spiritual?"
I can confidently make the presumption that you have had deeper meditative experiences, and reached more profound states of consciousness, than I ever have in your years of exploration and practice. So what was THAT all about? And... what did you sense "yourself" to be in those moments? Body? Mind (operating as a mental process within the brain)? If I may just give my own opinion... you are the consciousness which is experiencing the biological processes at work. You are like the flow of electricity that runs through a computer. You're there, making the whole experience (i.e., on a computer: electric current+machine=blogging, or in life: flow of energy/consciousness/Chi+physical/biological entity=suffering from cancer). Both energies are intangible within their system, and don't usually manifest as they really are (here the analogy is challenged, because there's more to spiritual consciousness than AC power. Hah!). But, both make the system possible. Both are the source of the resulting experience (playing youtube videos, or finding employment... to give arbitrary examples for each of the two I'm talking about).
Do you believe yourself to be (and identify as) your mind/ego or its mental processing? If yes, fantastic. If not, keep reading. :)
Your mind MUST fight for survival because THIS is all there is for it (same with the body... which WILL dissolve and decompose to nothing, eventually). To quote another famous poem, it will "not go gentle into that good night." It will "rage, rage against the dying light" (Dylan Thomas)." But, since you're still reading, you know you're not that. That phrase: "dying light" is interesting, and I think sort of relevant. Although Thomas has it wrong (in my opinion... all of this is my unaccredited opinion/view). The "light" doesn't die. What happens if you take the shade off of a lamp (that's on)? The light becomes even brighter, even more apparent! (Fascinatingly... to me at least... light is both particle and wave... see any connection to duality perhaps? Behind the shade, the reality is not as physicists used to think it was, and it still perplexes them that it can be both and not just one or the other. Are you following me? I'm not..
Ugh... more FROM JASON:
ReplyDeleteOh. So, any biological imperative or idea can only *seem* to affect those that are identified as biological entities and only biological entities. To a person who believes herself to be consciousness, or the subtle but ever-present awareness and the "observer" of the physical/dualistic reality, the laws of biology have a similar kind of meaning as the laws that we have to follow in order for our computer to run properly (free up space, remove viruses when they appear, enter sleep...).
You asked specifically about "self-realization," "meditation," and "spiritual matters." My idea is specific and slightly different for each of those.
Self-Realization.
If by self-realization, you mean discovering ourselves as the people we are, and in the sense that Psychology might have it. Then the genetic/biological imperative has huge implications. They're so huge, in fact, that existentialists have been focusing on them for many years. You're completely right when you touch on how it affects motivation. I can relate to that. I went through an existentialist, sort of nihilistic phase when I was 14/15 (I believe you knew me as a silly little junky back then. haha). "If the end can come at any time," I thought. "And the end REALLY IS THE END... then fuck it." So I got high for the next several years, because the drug was gratification right when I wanted it, and I had to blot out of my consciousness the idea that an all-encapsulating darkness was waiting for me somewhere down the line. I wasn't very happy and it didn't work out very well in the end. You could say it took "an arm and a leg" to get me thinking twice (background: I came close to losing my right arm as a result of an overdose... pinched nerve). Self-realization, to me, demands some self-discovery and self-improvement. But, if you think this "self" is going to be gone soon... why bother with it at all? And who gives a flying fuck about the other "selves." BUT, I know that none of this is what you're getting at and none of this has anything to do with the kind of man, and beautiful "self," I know you to be. Self-realization in the Eastern sense is untouched by the biological imperative. Because in that framework, one realizes her "true nature" (or so some people have said...) and has seen herself as not being subject to birth, death, or the laws of the physical universe (ultimately, that is...the "Buddha," Siddhartha got sick and died. According to his teachings, though, who he really was/is, did not). So again, what is the meaning of life? Your answer to that (I'm talking to everyone... not just you Ward... I'm your student, as far as I'm concerned, and I trust your awareness) will very likely answer some questions about death. In the end, when facing this imperative and our finite quantity of time here, I think we have to let up a little on the seeking and start creating (our truths, our meanings, etc.). I still know what I knew when I was 14/15 (although now I have a different general perspective), but I accept the possibility that death can come in a myriad of ways and at any infinite number of times and then I CHOOSE to do what I do. I mean really, what else is there? Make your choices, and live or die with them (not addressed to Ward or anyone in particular). Decide, decide, decide... because a memorandum from an Ultimate Authority on what you should or should not do, or how you should do it, isn't coming in the mail anytime soon. As Ghandi said, "It's not important what you do, but it's very important that you do it." And as I read in the book Communion with God: "The meaning of everything is the meaning I give it."
So what do you (all of you) define as "self-realization?"
(continued...sorry!)
*FINAL* post FROM JASON (you may breathe a sigh of relief now.. haha!):
ReplyDeleteMeditation.
So our friends Merriam and Webster have this definition for the verb "meditate:"
1: to engage in contemplation or reflection
2: to engage in mental exercise (as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness
According to this definition (especially the first), meditation is a highly biological and dualistic activity :D But, there's a simple Zen definition: "body and mind drop off." The second definition from M-W very nicely states the common conception that "I" meditate and connect with something, or elevate "my" spiritual awareness through a practice. My personal experience, however, is that the "I" dissolves in meditation, the "thing" Jason was seeking to connect with is revealed to be his nature (St Francis: "What you're looking for, is what's looking."), and I am spiritual awareness itself. No... "I," Jason Magnon, do not become spiritual awareness. I (no quotations=no concept of self) AM (Jesus: "Before Abraham was, I AM."). So I guess it depends on the meditation, and how it is being done (heh... and by "who/what" is doing/experiencing it). It's important to note that there is evidence of meditation altering biology (I often think that you have done this, Ward... maybe not through hours on end of sitting meditation, but by being connected with who you are). You're still with us (which I'm consciously grateful for on a daily basis... for real), and that's a miracle. I will try and conjure up some articles to post later on this topic (maybe make a new post to go off of this one).
Spiritual Matters.
I hope I have not given the sense that I deny the existence of the body and the mind (or their importance). Like I said, I think they are our tools and they are miraculous, marvelous, entities. I love and study science (body) and psychology (mind). In fact, that's what I've committed to doing for the next 8 years or so! I believe we as the people we're presenting as are tri-fold beings: body-mind-spirit.
Another word from M-W:
Spirit: : An animating or vital principle held to give life to physical organisms. They say it gives life to the organism, so I might infer that it is not the organism and it is not subject to its limitations. The imperative is a principle of the organism (be it body or mind or brain), right? (not a rhetorical question... haha!). That just made me think of one more thing to ask you, Ward (and ANYONE): brain vs. mind... what's the difference? :) What is the mind, and where the HELL is it!? I'll admit, I'm sort of a Zen student, so I have my views (the "mind" is somewhat of a hot topic among Zen circles, to say the least). I want to know yours please!
*Personal Opinion Alert* [Hah! As if all the previous rants are not...]
My opinion/perspective/whatever (notice I don't say belief... belief conflicts with faith. It opens the door to doubt. Consider how we use it in our language: "I *believe* I locked the door... I don't know, I'll go check." -sorry for the tangent) is that you're not going to die Ward. You never have. You'll change form, and I'm going to be heartbroken when that happens. But remember that lampshade and lightbulb metaphor? I think you'll like what you find, my friend and brother ;) I love ya, and you're not going to "leave" us.
Namaste,
Jason
And when next we speak of these things I will tell you about my NDE (white light, tunnel, etc.) that changed the course of my life when I was 19. I love everything you wrote. It is you.
ReplyDelete